Surely you've heard the saying, "There are no good men out there," haven't you? Yeah, I know. You've probably even said it yourself. The truth, though, despite what you've heard, and despite what you've said, is that THERE ARE GOOD MEN OUT THERE! And even more than that, there are good GODLY men out there who are looking for good GODLY women. These men know God's word and they're living it. They're walking in His ways, bearing much fruit in their daily lives and in ministry. They know that it's not good for man to be alone and they understand that God created women to be help meets for them (Genesis 2:18). They know that when they find a wife, they will have found a good thing and will have obtained favor from the Lord (Proverbs 18:22). You wanna know how I know? Because I'm a good GODLY woman, and I know if I'm out here living a life for Christ, doing what He's called me to do just like so many other sisters are, why in the world wouldn't there be men out here doing the same?
And they're looking for us. The question, though, is will they even be able to find us?
You're absolutely right if you're thinking that you'll catch his eye because you're dressed nicely and your hair and makeup is right. Men are definitely drawn to what they see. And you're right if you're thinking that your perfume may be the one thing that causes him to "sniff you out". The question with that, though, is will any of that keep him?
If you're expecting to become one with a man who knows and lives God's word and who proves himself to be a leader...and if you desire a man to be the spiritual leader of your home by washing you with the water of the Word...and if you expect him to be involved in kingdom building and changing lives by the leading of the Holy Spirit, why in the world do you think he wouldn't want the same? Why wouldn't he want someone who is honoring and obeying the Father in everything she does? Sure, you can be beautiful and well kempt, but are you those things AND a woman who honors and obeys the Lord in all her ways?
"But, Iantha, I'm serving faithfully. I'm living for the Lord. I'm doing what I was called to do."
Are you really?
Let's take a closer look at what you're doing by studying a "hook up" in the bible. I think we can learn something from what the Lord did with Isaac and Rebekah (before she started dabbling in lies and deceit; that's a whole 'notha blog).
Abraham was Isaac's father, and at this point in their story, Abraham was close to death. It was important to Abraham that he find a wife for Isaac, and he wanted the matter established before his death. He didn't want Isaac making a poor choice, and he especially didn't want him choosing from among the Canaanite women who were the primary residents in the town where they lived. So Abraham spoke to the oldest servant of his house and told him to go to his home country to find a wife for Isaac. Marriages, for the most part, were arranged then, but in this instance, because of a covenant Abraham had made with the Lord, he couldn't allow Isaac to go to that country. The servant had to be sent. (Genesis 24)
Out of obedience, and with specific instructions, the servant went to Abraham's home town, and when he arrived, he prayed to the Lord and said (and I'm jazzin' this up), "Now, Lord, you 'dun sent me out here, and my master, Abraham, trusts ya boy to do the right thing, so please show him favor, and show me that same favor. I need to get this right. So I'm by this well and all the daughters of the men in the city are coming to draw water. Can you make it so when I say, 'Please let down your pitcher so I can get some water' she says 'Here you go. Drink. And I'ma take care of your camels too.'? This is how I'ma know she's the one.'"
The Bible says that when he saw the beautiful Rebekah draw water from the well, he asked her what he said he would, and she responded in the exact way he prayed she would. She even said (still jazzin' it up), "I'ma draw water for your camels until they finish drinking." (Genesis 24)
And y'all know camels be THIRSTY! That girl had a servant's heart! Go'on, Rebekah!
Now, it's obvious that this was her duty. All of the women drew water at this time. SHE was doing what she was specifically appointed to do at that specific time. And HE prayed a specific prayer because he was the one looking for the woman on behalf of the man who couldn't be there to choose for himself. The servant had sense enough to talk to the Lord, knowing that the Lord is the One who's in control of all things. He knew he better not make the choice. He knew it would be best to let the Lord decide.
She was doing what she was supposed to do.
The servant prayed a specific prayer.
Then, he went looking for her.
And he found her.
I may be going out on a limb here, but what if he didn't see you because you weren't being obedient and working in the thing that the Lord has told you to do? What if God told you that day to go and speak to the woman at Wal-Mart that you keep encountering every time you're there? He gave you the exact words to say to the woman and even told you what time to go because He knew when she would be at work, but you were scared and you let fear paralyze you. What you didn't see was that her nephew, who is her primary caretaker, was picking her up early from work to surprise her for her birthday that day. For about a year, since taking on the responsibility of being his aunt's caretaker, he'd been praying for a woman who would show kindness to his aunt because she has such a rough time with customers since having had surgery on her wrist. He loves his aunt who is like a mother to him, so he knows if a woman shows genuine kindness to his aunt, that would be the first thing to give him the okay to at least strike up a conversation with her. He would measure her up against his other prayers later.
And I could offer many scenarios because Lord knows the storyteller in me can go, honey!
When the Lord tells you to turn off your phone for a while to pray and sit at his feet, do you do it? In that specific prayer session, he wants to tell you how to pray for your husband.
When the Lord told you to write the business plan and have it ready to present to the director over your dad's youth program, did you write it and have it ready? In that meeting were going to be 2 Godly men who were looking for wives, and one of them was praying for a woman who was starting a business because she would understand his life in business. That was major for him.
When the Lord told you to stay after church to clean, did you stay? Everyone who stayed to clean was being treated to a 5-course dinner cruise the following weekend, and the captain of the ship was a man who had been praying for someone who knew what it meant to serve at her local church. He knew he'd need someone who understood selflessness in that way because the Lord had just told him that he would be a pastor.
Would your husband even be able to find you? Would you be doing the specific things that you've been called to do, or those "on the spot" directives the Holy Spirit sometimes hands out? Are you in the place to be found by the man who is offering up specific prayers for the woman who will help him to do what the Lord has called him to do?
And please don't get me wrong. Hear me and hear me well... In no way am I saying that we should be obedient to the Lord simply for the hope of gaining some man's affection. I can tell you that the Lord searches the motives of our hearts and he can smell your actions long before you play them out. If your obedience to Him is to win the heart of man, you'll lose every time. Your heart should be focused on honoring the Lord, and if He chooses to have you found by your husband in one of your acts of obedience, so be it. He could do it that way, and he could choose not to. One thing is for sure though: A Godly woman who honors and obeys the Lord in everything she does is more desirable and appealing to a Godly man than any outfit, hair do, or beat face (I hate that expression SO MUCH! Who came up with that? LAWD).
Be found honoring the Lord and doing EVERYTHING He tells you to do!