|  | | ||
When I first started teaching, my prayer life was jacked up! You would think I would've prayed more because of how much I'd taken on and how much I desperately needed Him to figure my way through those first days, but the opposite was true. Instead of going to Him and laying every concern at His feet, I got completely tied up in the busyness of planning lessons, writing tests, creating seating charts and ability groups, grading papers, writing meaningful feedback, and doing assignments for the classes I was taking for my Master's program. I did everything BUT pray. Sure, I talked to God because our relationship was accustomed to constant conversation, but I wasn't TALKING to Him. I wasn't spending quality time with Him, allowing Him to talk back to me. And I was suffering. I was doing so much in my own strength that it began to show. My hair began to shed. I was already a small little something, and I just got smaller. I was ALWAYS doing something for my students, even when I was with family and friends. I'd be grading papers and entering grades into my grade book at holiday gatherings. And one day, the Lord convicted my spirit to change all of that. He knew I needed Him. He'd watched me suffer long enough. Plus, He just WANTED to be with me. He longed to hear my heart and to share His heart with me. (Isn't it sweet to know that the Lord desires to talk to you and wants to be with you?) Enough was enough. He was going to get my attention.
Every morning, at the school where I was teaching at the time (and in every school where I've taught since then), we started the day with the Pledge of Allegiance before morning announcements. This particular morning, just like every morning, I stood with my students and saluted the flag. I recited the pledge with full volume to set an example for my students. As soon as the pledge was coming to a close, "...with liberty and justice for all," I heard the Lord say quietly to my spirit, "You salute the flag and recite the pledge at the same time every day, but you haven't said one word to me today. You honor the country, but you forget about me."
Talk about conviction! Talk about shame! Oh, how my heart hurt to know that the Lord had to even say that to me! I was embarrassed! I thought, "How could I let the busyness of my profession steal the intimacy of my relationship with the Lord?" It was a hurtful, heartbreaking eye opener, and it changed the way I see my relationship with Him.
EVERY school year, I have to revisit that conviction. Every. Single. Year. I take great pride in getting my students what they need, and that passion gets me SO wrapped up in the "doing" of it all. Every year, I hit a point where I get too involved and begin to pull away. Every year, I find myself fighting with grading papers and planning lessons and doing all that teachers do, and MAKING quality time to be with Lord. But every time I stand to say that pledge, I'm reminded that I can do none of what I do for my students if I'm not filling up on Him. There have been times every school year when I've gone a week or two without consistently, SERIOUSLY meeting with the Lord to have that intimate time with Him, but thankfully, that pledge won't let me go for long. In fact, it reminded me today.
Every morning, at the school where I was teaching at the time (and in every school where I've taught since then), we started the day with the Pledge of Allegiance before morning announcements. This particular morning, just like every morning, I stood with my students and saluted the flag. I recited the pledge with full volume to set an example for my students. As soon as the pledge was coming to a close, "...with liberty and justice for all," I heard the Lord say quietly to my spirit, "You salute the flag and recite the pledge at the same time every day, but you haven't said one word to me today. You honor the country, but you forget about me."
Talk about conviction! Talk about shame! Oh, how my heart hurt to know that the Lord had to even say that to me! I was embarrassed! I thought, "How could I let the busyness of my profession steal the intimacy of my relationship with the Lord?" It was a hurtful, heartbreaking eye opener, and it changed the way I see my relationship with Him.
EVERY school year, I have to revisit that conviction. Every. Single. Year. I take great pride in getting my students what they need, and that passion gets me SO wrapped up in the "doing" of it all. Every year, I hit a point where I get too involved and begin to pull away. Every year, I find myself fighting with grading papers and planning lessons and doing all that teachers do, and MAKING quality time to be with Lord. But every time I stand to say that pledge, I'm reminded that I can do none of what I do for my students if I'm not filling up on Him. There have been times every school year when I've gone a week or two without consistently, SERIOUSLY meeting with the Lord to have that intimate time with Him, but thankfully, that pledge won't let me go for long. In fact, it reminded me today.
I rushed out of my house this morning because I stayed up late working on details for summer dance camp. That caused me to sleep a little later than usual, which made this morning's "work session" go a little later than it normally does. I did some talking to the Lord while writing a chapter in my book, but that wasn't intimacy. When I stood for the pledge at school this morning, I heard His voice reminding me, once again, to put first things first. He pulled my heartstrings and told me that He wants to sit with me. He wants me to talk to Him, and He wants to talk to me. He reminded me that I pledged my allegiance to Him with my heart when I gave Him my life and that my daily pledge to the flag should be secondary to my daily "pledge" to Him.
No comments:
Post a Comment