All. About. Them. They are disciplined! (in the wrong direction)
Now, those who know me well know that I'm a stickler for time. I can't STAND being late, and I can't stand when others are late. I make it my business to be where I need to be at least 15 minutes before I'm scheduled to be there, and I don't play about that 'thang! I can hear my friend, Aiesha, in my head now when she shows up to an event that we scheduled to attend together. "I knew you was gon' be here, girl. You always on time."
I wish that were true, Esh. I'm not always on time these days. And this blog is hard for me to hear as I'm writing it because the Lord got on to me when Pastor introduced this indicator in life class (what I call bible study) that night. I'm listening to the lesson, and the Lord is justa talking saying, "How can you be on time to every place but work? What is it about work that keeps you from preparing ahead and planning like you do to be everywhere else?" And then we had to have one of our heart-to-hearts that went on for a few days. I hated it, but it was necessary because I have been draaaaagging to work for the past month and a half. He straight called me out on it.
I had to look at why I was on time for literally EVERYTHING else and find the commonalities. I realized, hands down, that every time I'm on time for dance rehearsal, a meeting that I call with the dance school staff, a dinner or lunch date with someone, a concert, a play, a hair appointment or a host of other things, I'm on time because I want to be there. There's something about those scheduled things that matter to me; those things are important to me. And especially if I'm meeting someone. I expect them to be on time because my time is important, and I believe their time is just as important as mine, so I make it my business to be on time to show them that I value them.
I can remember being invited to a church last year to see a national recording gospel artist. She was the "main event" for a 3-day workshop. The service that night was scheduled to begin at 7, so of course, one of my mentees and I were there at 6:40. The service began on time with prayer and praise and worship, and it was evident that after about 3 songs, the praise and worship team was adding songs to their "list" on the spot. Their body language was saying it all. It was obvious that they were uncomfortable. All of the people who were serving that night--the ushers, the musicians, the pastor and his wife--were uneasy, and they could tell that we could see that they were uncomfortable. They had already said, at the top of the service, that the artist would be up after the praise team, so that's what we were looking for.
7:30ish
The praise team is still singing. The singers' eyes are watching the door. The pastor is walking here and walking there talking to ushers and apparently getting word on where the artist was. People are getting uneasy in their seats because we're wondering why the artist isn't at least sitting out in the congregation, even if she's not ready to sing just yet. Then, a couple of representatives from the artist's entourage, that were already in place at the church anticipating her arrival, got up to introduce her and speak about who she is and all she's done. We could see that they were stalling too. I could feel their pain as the drew up stories to tell and songs to sing to keep us somewhat engaged as they covered for their leader.
Finally, someone got up and said that the artist's drive was taking longer than they expected. Everything in me knew, and probably everyone else sitting there knew that there was NO WAY the drive was taking that long from where she was said to be driving from. No way. She and whoever was escorting her didn't leave in enough time to arrive on time, and that was just that. The truth was in the air. It left a tension in the room that went from anxious, respectful expectancy to a sort of distrust. It was like, "We want to be able to receive from you, but you don't even care enough about giving to us to make us a priority. You don't even care to be on time to share with us."
8:00ish
When she arrived, there was a loose apology, but it was more of a haughty explanation of "the life" she lives and how sometimes being late happens. The air in the room shifted again. We wanted to be excited that she'd finally made it. We wanted to receive what she had, but because it was about 8:15ish at the time that she opened her mouth to sing her first note, we weren't as excited as we probably would've been had she shown some respect for our time and for the honor we had for her as the "giver" of the evening. We were definitely offended. We didn't matter to her. We were someone else on her schedule, and it showed. She was late. She wasn't ready. I learned after she started singing that she was to sing and to "preach" that night. My hope was somewhat restored, but then, it was evident that she was ill prepared for both. That night felt like a waste.
If you've ever sat and waited for your food too long, you didn't like it. If you've waited on someone for too long when you had somewhere to be, you didn't like it. When you set a time for something that's important to you and people don't honor it, you don't like it. And don't be scheduled to have a date with a significant other and they show up late! Just write their death wish now! You're ready to go COMPLETELY off because you believe that person doesn't think you're important. Why, then, do "the late thing" to others? I'll just tell you. We don't care about "those things" enough. "Those things" are not as important to us as we are to ourselves. At the end of the day, no matter how we try to justify it, we're late because we're selfish. It's about us. And boy, I wish I wasn't able to say that it's true, but it most certainly is in my sad little case.
School has been rough for me this year. I've even said that this has been the worst year of my 10 years of teaching. I've wanted to quit just about every day. There have been days that I couldn't stand to see even my best class coming. I loathed walking into my classroom. I couldn't even stand the sight of the building. THAT bad! On mornings that I was up early to either study and/or work out, I would take my time and leave home at the very last minute. I would just find things to do at home so I wouldn't get to work too early. On mornings that I didn't get up to study or work out, I would sleep until the last minute. Most days, I wouldn't have clothes already picked out, so I would have to decide what to wear in the morning, and that took time. Just a mess!
I got to a place where work wasn't important to me anymore. My focus wasn't on my students. I was focusing on everything else that was going on at school that frustrated me. I forgot for a minute that education is what God called me to and what He literally BUSTED doors open for, for me. Education is where I'm called to "work", and my current school is my mission field. I forgot that, and I began to treat "my work" carelessly. It didn't matter that when I got there, I taught my behind off. God said that my attitude was wrong from the jump when I wasn't disciplined in preparing myself to be there on time. So we had to deal with the root, and that would have to be a whole 'notha blog, but in short, my passion had to be restored, and my focus renewed, and lateness was the indicator that let me know that something was wrong. Thank GOD for the word He sent through my pastor!
I was late to work because I was, as we say these days, "in my feelings". I didn't care that I would walk into faculty meetings late because I was finishing MY breakfast. I didn't care that I was walking in 5 minutes before class because I had to stop at the post office to mail MY things. Selfish, and all about me, and an undisciplined mess!
If you're constantly late, why is it? Habitual, regulatory, this-is-me-everyday lateness says we're not disciplined, and can we just fess up to it and deal with it? Look at the common trends to see why you're late and fix it. You're saying to others that you don't respect their time. You're saying that you don't value them or you don't value the organization or the event. And it could be, like in my case, that you've lost focus of what's important.
And no matter who you are, you're not ALWAYS late. There are things you're on time for because you WANT TO BE on time for them. What are those things? Why are you on time for those? Do the inventory and take that discipline into other areas.
Tomorrow
The Discipline Series - #10 Wasted Time and Energy
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