Thursday, April 21, 2016

The Discipline Series: Life Without Discipline - # 8 Reckless Speech

One sure way to know that we're lacking spiritual discipline is if our speech becomes reckless: We say things that hurt others and that break the heart of God.



A disciplined tongue is one that pleases God. A tongue that is not disciplined and has the tendency to "slip" is not pleasing to Him. When we don't allow the Holy spirit to tame our tongues, we tell on ourselves. We tell that God is not the Lord of EVERYTHING that concerns us. If He's going to be Lord of our lives, He's got to be Lord of who we're connected to, what we do, where we go, and WHAT WE SAY. What we say and do either represents Him well and draws others to Him, or misrepresents Him and pushes others away. And woe unto the man or woman who pushes people AWAY from Christ with their misrepresentation of Him! Lord, let not that blood be on our hands! Our lives are an example one way or the other: they're either good examples or poor ones. Let's work on being good examples with our speech.

What Does God Say About What We Say?
A lot! Scripture upon scripture tells us to be careful with what we allow to come out of our mouths. Let's examine a few.
  1. "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires."   - James 1:19-20 (NIV)
Surely we've all done some things in anger that weren't pleasing to God and that were probably hurtful to others, which is why we're urged to be slow to anger. But what about the things we've SAID in anger? LORD! This is why we're told to be slow to speak too! Can you imagine how it must break God's heart when we're quick to anger AND we're quick to speak in that anger? It's like a double whammy! I can think back to times before I really allowed the Lord to have control of me. I would get angry and cuss words would "slip" out, and at the very moment I spoke the words, I would feel like running and hiding under a rock because I knew I'd hurt the heart of God. I felt like the scum of the Earth! And even though I wasn't saying those words to anyone directly, I said them even still, and God heard them. I was convicted in my spirit because I knew my tongue wasn't under His control, and BOY, did He deal with me on that!

I remember being in quiet time with God one day and He told me that if I ever get to a point in anger that I want to cuss, I can pretty much bank that my spirit was starving. And it was always true. Any time I was on the verge of not just cuss words, but ridiculous, out-of-Godly character anger or frustration, I could look at myself and see that I hadn't been in the Lord's face, spending quality time with Him and allowing His Spirit to feed mine. That day, He told me that if I was feeding my spirit, those words would be buried so deep that they COULDN'T surface because whatever I feed more is what's gon' dominate. If I were feeding my spirit, I would be so slow to anger and so slow to speak that nothing foolish would come out.  I talk more about this in Do You Love Jesus But Still Cuss A Little?

     2. "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." - Proverbs 15:1 (NIV)

And I know this to be true. I see it in my classroom all the time! There are times when I give directives in my teacher tone, but there are times I give them in my "momma" tone.  And there's a distinct difference. If I tell a student to do something in my teacher tone, it's gentle. My students know that tone well. I use it 90% of the time. It keeps peace in the room and lets them know I love them. It's an inviting tone that assures them that they can come to me and that I'll be there with open arms. But there are moments when they ackin' plum fools and I have to speak to them in "momma" tone. It's louder. It's frank. It's sometimes sarcastic and it means business...RIGHT NOW business! This works when I'm speaking to the class as a whole because it's usually to quiet them down or to get them to do something that I've had to say one-too-many times.(Twice. If I've had to say it a second time, that's too much.) When I use "momma" tone with just one student, however, it doesn't always work as nicely. There are times when that tone appears combative. A child may think I'm picking on them or that I don't like them and in most cases, it just riles them up and makes them come right back at me with the same tone. Oh, I've seen it time and time again! I've been teaching so long that I can discern when and with whom "momma" tone works, but I wasn't always able to do that and my "harsh words" stirred up anger.


When we allow the Lord to take control of our speech and discipline our tongues, we know that harsh words stir up anger, so we choose gentle words instead. I've learned that I can say to a child in teacher tone, the EXACT same thing I would've said in "momma" tone, and it gets me much better, and much quicker results. When I pull that child to the side and whisper bluntly between my teeth instead of raising my voice (LOL! I am laughing at mySELF!), I get results. When I yell, especially in front of even one other student, I get combat.

Think about your personal life. Have you said some harsh words to someone that unnecessarily stirred up anger?  Have you had an opportunity in another situation to be harsh, but you were gentle instead and saw the matter resolved more peacefully? God's word doesn't lie! If we allow His word to discipline our tongues, reckless speech won't have a "say" with us.
     3. "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."
          - Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)

Talking about people. Putting others down. Putting yourself down. NO unwholesome talk. NONE! From our mouths should come only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs that it may benefit them.

She's having a hard time believing in herself. Say words that build her up so it can benefit her. He was just caught up in a word war as his classmates made fun of him for 5 minutes straight. Encourage him with some "life words" that will benefit him. They're doing something that irks your nerves. Don't talk to your friends about it; pray for them. Let your prayer talk reach God's heart so He can act on it and it can benefit them.

This type of tongue is the type that pleases God, one that is disciplined in His word and speaks as He would have it speak.

Lastly, I'll leave you with this one.

"With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water." - James 3:9-12

Will your speech draw others to Christ, or will it push them away?

Tomorrow
Life Without Discipline - #9 I'm Late!



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